Why you are not yet Married

It’s quite an irony that a question as simple, and perhaps innocent as this could be very unsettling and embarrassing for a single lady.

In recent years,  I have reconnected with old school mates, friends or acquaintances who usually can’t hide their surprise that I am unmarried. They ask questions like – “is it that you’ve never been married or you’re widowed, separated or divorced.”

This is not unexpected though, considering that I graduated from over university 20 years ago… whoops, time does fly!

People have often wondered why a lady would remain unmarried past their 30s and sometimes, into their 50s.

Another person trying to make sense of it blurted out, “it really shouldn’t don’t be that difficult to be married, I know people who have gotten married twice or thrice” 

Well, they are not far from the truth.

I actually love those types of candid, open conversations, which unfortunately are also scarce, as not everyone is capable of having them.

Now, because people just need to make sense of a confounding situation, they would often come up with answers, if you’re unable to provide a satisfactory one. So, people would usually tell me what they have concluded to be the reason for my singleness. 

But, really, why do some people get married in their 20s and others remain unmarried into their 50s? I don’t have a straight answer. The only thing that summarizes it satisfactorily for me is ‘Time and chances’.

Ecclesiastes 9:11 “I have observed something else under the sun. The fastest runner doesn’t always win the race, and the strongest warrior doesn’t always win the battle. The wise sometimes go hungry, and the skillful are not necessarily wealthy. And those who are educated don’t always lead successful lives. It is all decided by chance, by being in the right place at the right time.”

Sometimes when things happen to or for us effortlessly and without us having to even think about it, it’s easy to conclude that something is wrong with the other person whose path has been different.

So when people are quick to draw conclusions on the reason why you’re unmarried at your age, it’s ok to pause and remember that there doesn’t have to be a logical reason, and being signal doesn’t mean anything is wrong with you.


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