Recently, I listened to the audio version of Jane Austen’s ‘PRIDE AND PREJUDICE’ and I was reminded again that the pressure that comes with late marriage is both universal and primeval. My book ‘HAPPILY WHENEVER AFTER’ brings it closer home and dissects the dynamics of what that might look like in African societies.
I have identified 5 types of single ladies, I’m sure there are a lot more:
She is sweet, simple, innocent, and has a heart very easily pleased. She can see no wrong in anyone. This trait which is a great virtue could also be a weakness, because women like this are easily targets of men with less than noble intentions.
THE DESPERATE LADY.
For her, getting married is a passport to a respectable and decent life. She would scheme, device, and do anything to have a man marry her. She’s not oblivious to possible consequences, but is prepared to weather it out. This actually takes some courage.
She falls in love with her own fantasy and projects it on any man she comes across. She’s more likely to get into a non-reciprocal relationship or marriage.
“He’s an angel”
“He loves me”
“He’s so handsome”
Everyone else but her know these to be untrue, but you can’t talk her out of it. She will eventually wake up from her delirium, often too late.
Once she gets engaged or married. She no longer mingles with or considers herself in the same class as her single friends, nor does she stop short to let them know it. While still single, she might prefer to associate with married friends, as that gives her a sense of higher social ranking.
She would choose to remain single over marrying outside of her convictions. Because she is focused and has very high standards, she’s likely to get exactly what she wants, or remain single, and she’s ok with either. While this is a great attribute, she however needs to keep an open mind and be self-aware enough to recognize her prejudices. She might eventually discover new perspectives which could open up possibilities that she did not think existed.
Which of these types of single ladies are you, or have you met?