I have had quite unpleasant match-matching experiences, and that’s putting it mildly. In fact, I could call them ‘match-making woes’. Each time I’ve narrated them, they have always elicited two different responses from the listeners without fail- they would choke with laughter at some point into the narration, and have their jaws to the ground in disbelief at some other point. My experiences have been that extreme.

It’s not surprising though. When you’re unmarried at my age everyone is too eager to help you get married- friends, family, acquaintances, neighbours and even relatives you’ve never met before. How they approach this is often similar to how a shop owner would treat an item that has sat on the shelf too long and they are desperate to make a sale at all costs.

The first approach is to hype the item so much to get a prospective buyer interested. They would overpromise with no guarantee that the product could deliver. It reminds me of those salesmen who sold all-purpose medication in public buses in Lagos- “Buy this one drug and all your problems will be solved”.

The second approach is to sell the item at less than its value. E.g. do a 50% price slash- so that people who ordinarily can not afford it would at least take a second look.

Either way, the only goal on the mind of the seller is to get rid of the item as quickly as possible, since it’s just taking up space and not adding to their bottom line. To them, it matters nothing who snatches it up. What matters is that it is taken off the shelf. Now these are typical sales tactics we’re all familiar with. They might make business sense when you’re dealing with a merchandise, but not a human being.

Unfortunately, this is how you’d make a lady feel when you pressure them to meet, date or marry a stranger you can’t say much for.

At this point, I want to make it clear that I have nothing against match-making.It is a primordial method that is time-tested, and I am all for helping people make the right connections. I’m just concerned about the approach I described above.

My opinion is if you wouldn’t hand something as valuable as your wallet or expensive jewelry to a stranger or someone of questionable character to hold in trust for you, why would you want to ‘give-away’ your daughter, niece, cousin, or friend to someone you hardly know or can’t trust with your money, just because in your opinion, it’s about time they got married?

The message this passes across is how little value you place on them and it is quite worrisome. Does this suggest that the older a lady gets, the less their worth? Even if society suggests this, this should not be projected on them by their parents, relatives, friends and loved ones.

#SingleAndValuable

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